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Carly's Love Story
In kindergarten, I had a boyfriend named David Merlot. My mom was totally supportive even though he celebrated Christmas and his last name sounded like a fine wine. She would love whomever I loved. Over the years, I had a number of boyfriends come and go (roughly 213). Some were too nice. Some were just outright jerks. Others were too artsy. And some were too professional, or too conservative for me - because let's be honest, I am not the *most* conservative person we all know. I moved to LA and began to figure out who I wanted to be and where my life was headed, but I still could not find the one right person to share it with.
I decided maybe that person wasn't in LA. Maybe part of me didn't want to end up in LA, and was nervous to "settle down" there. Maybe LA was bringing me some luck, but not all the luck I needed. I moved back to Philadelphia in December 2012, and began a new search for Mr. Carly. Upon Facebook chatting with a great friend of mine in LA (Zachary Dodes), I would complain about the men I was dating. Calling them "men" is a compliment. They were amazing while we were sharing a ham & mushroom pizza, and became a little less great when they would then mention on date four they were strongly considering being orthodox; yup, that kind of dating experience. Over and over.
Zach said casually in a Facebook message, "You should meet my brother." That was the line, and I'll never forget it. Really? YOU have a brother? See, the part of the story I am leaving out here, is that upon meeting Zach for the first time, I called a friend of mine and said, "I need to meet a guy like this. Granted, this one is married, but you know what I mean - there are still good guys out there. I need to believe that." And so there it was, Zach had a brother. I probably asked "Is he as cool as you?" In fact, I am almost 100% sure that was my next question, and believe you and me, I have gone back through Facebook threads to read these messages.
Josh and I immediately started to Facebook chat. Messages that went something like this:
Josh Dodes Monday, February 25, 2013 at 10:40pm:
Hey listen, I know this is like hopelessly masculine and sexy, but I actually have to go fold a ton of laundry. Back in a little bit, if you're still on? And if not, we should make a plan for when Philly turns out to be a bit poorer-man's NYC than you might think. Zach said nice and amazing things about you, yes. But he did not mention your facility with the semicolon. He was selling you short, Carly Marly.
Carly Marly Marks Monday, February 25, 2013 at 10:41pm
I am always on! I stay up late. And do "work" intermixed with forcing people with the last name Dodes to make me laugh. You're doing a great job!
After over 1,000 messages of this back and forth banter, and a phone chat or two, we decided to Skype. We skype-dated (as we like to say) for three weeks. Josh would order in pizza or thai food. I would have a rum and diet coke. And we would essentially go on a date. Followed by thousands of additional Facebook messages, text messages, and yes, you may have already guessed this, hash tags. This was the beginning of the "Hash Tag Era", and Josh and I killed it. All day long, we would text each other hash tags that were truly hilarious. We wish we could share them with you, but we're not sure that they're wedding-website appropriate. #joshandcarlytakethehighroad #ourmomsarereadingthis
Finally, Josh visited me in Philly. Our first date was at The Twisted Tail. Our gay waiter loved us together, and insisted on taking our picture. He called Josh "sexy baldy boy" and secretly asked me if I was having a good first date with "sexy baldy boy" while Josh went to the bathroom. Little did Peter know he was waiting on the future Mr. and Mrs. Dodes.
And the rest, my friends, is history.
Josh is by far everything I could have ever wanted in a man... and besides the fact that he is missing a few hairs on his head, he is just short of perfect. He is a talented professional musician (which would have been more than enough), but he is also happens to be a warm-hearted caring and loving therapist. He is a comedian by nature, truly one of the funniest people I have ever met. He is a brilliant Yale graduate (my check list is not long enough for all of his check marks). By the way, did I mention he is a Yale graduate? He is also the most unbelievably good friend with the kindest soul. He doesn't have anything negative to say about anyone. He is an incredible friend, brother, son, and he is going to make the best partner and father in roughly twelve years. Ba-dum ching!
Sorry, mom.
No but really, I am so so very lucky.
Josh and I both faced a lot of adversities in relationships. We have both come a long way, traveling from true heartbreak to true happiness. We have traveled separate journeys, but they were similar in many ways - and they weren't easy. I think our close friends and families know this about us, and for this reason, have been extra supportive, sharing in our joy that much more. We are so appreciative.
Now, we have found a love that is more beautiful than anything we could have ever imagined. We feel we have serendipitously found (with a little help of modern technology and a very intuitive man named Zachary) what we had been looking for, for so long, in each other - the kind of love you dream of - the kind of love you would wish for your parents - your child - your sibling - and your best friend.
All around us, people are getting married, having babies, even sending their kids to elementary & middle school. It is crazy to think I am even sharing my year of engagement with some of my very youngest campers. (True story) Josh and I definitely did not face a path of ease, but the fact that we faced it, made us realize how rare our love really is - and my God, was this worth waiting for!!!!
We cannot wait to share our special day and our special love with all of you, the first day of the rest of our lives. Ours is not the only love story, but it is my favorite.
I love you, Josh.
Our LOVE Story
Josh's Love Story
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When I first decided to purchase a miniature mail-order bride, I was racked with doubts. So much could have gone wrong. Maybe she would be foolish or lazy. Maybe our language differences would be insurmountable. Maybe in her culture, husbands were expected to wake up early in the morning. Could I really trust what kind of bride I would get? What if she wanted to make my life a living hell? I mean, it's hard enough to trust women even when you think you know them. I've read "Gone Girl."
So needless to say, when Carly and I started getting to know each other over Facebook and Skype, it was a tremendous surprise. She was smart and beautiful and thoughtful and completely hilarious. Sure, she lived 100 miles away in a deeply second-rate city, but hadn't I just been telling friends that what I really needed in my life was even more time on the New Jersey Turnpike? Plus, who could be sure that I'd find the woman I was looking for in New York? And best of all, this one came pre-screened by my brother, who's just like me, but with hair.
So after several weeks of communicating online--a challenge for me, because while Carly grew up with the Internet, I grew up with sticks and an abacus--I decided to pressure her into an actual date. Carly's story appears to have conveniently left this part out: when I suggested we actually meet face to face, she was against the idea. She said she was too "busy" to actually meet, and that she thought it would be "smart" to wait "several months" first (presumably until she was freer or I was dead, whichever came first). Her hesitancy about whether I was worth meeting would have been a lot less insulting if she hadn't already told me that my competition in Philadelphia was using pickup lines like, "Does angels like you have a name?"
Still, I'm capable of enormous persuasion (one April Fools Day, I talked my middle school teachers into signing permission slips which would allow me to go to a Hare Krishna camp). So I tried to reason with her, and when that didn't work, I calmly told her it was no big deal, and that I would probably be married to someone else in "several months" anyway, and that she'd always wonder what might have happened between us, but that that really wasn't my business or concern.
This proved to be a far more effective line than "Does angels like you have a name?"
By halfway through our first date at the Twisted Tail, it was obvious I had been right. (Spoiler alert: I am always right.) I didn't know for sure how Carly felt at that point, of course, but I didn't have much doubt left in my mind: I was already falling in love with her. Carly was everything I had been looking for, and once she realized that I was goofy enough to put her on my back and run her through Rittenhouse Square, I think it was clear that I was what she was looking for, too.
Carly sometimes says that she loves me to the moon and back. Even if she has proven (in a hilarious audio recording I may or may not share with our friends at some point) that she has no idea where the moon actually is, I feel exactly the same way. She is my best friend, my partner in everything, my boodie, the love of my life. I couldn't be prouder that now she is going to be my wife.